I can’t seem to muster the brain power for anything but a random post, so here goes:

Doug flew to Kansas City this morning.  His dad is in the ICU (has been since Tuesday night.)  Please pray for his dad’s healing and comfort.

I’ve been painting this week ahead of the flooring installation.  It’s so much easier to paint when you can just spill it all over the carpet and it doesn’t matter.   The biggest bugaboo is the stairway up to Doug’s studio.  I have to use one of those telescoping thingys to get to the top part of the wall while balancing on the stairs.  Not. fun.  Painting is one of my least favorite things to do, but I’m trying to multitask and finish listening to the US Autism and Asperger’s conference webcast recordings.  I’m also enjoying AOL radio which has several Christian stations….I’m hearing lots of great music that our local Christian station doesn’t play. 

Noah had another infusion in Melbourne yesterday.  He was amazing.  He actually sang “if you’re happy and you know it” and laughed during the treatment.  It was so cute.  He was really “with it” last night.  At dinner, he looked at Doug’s chili bowl, pulled it over and said “I want.”  Personal pronoun use of a spontaneous nature is very rare for Noah, so we were thrilled.  Noah, of course, got the chili for his effort.

I’ve officially lost my cleaning/straightening/get ready for Tuesday morning mojo.  I would rather:

Sit and eat Ben and Jerry’s….it’s a reverse chocolate chunk kind of day…except they don’t make that flavor anymore.  (Hiss, boo! B&J…what were you thinking?)

Take a long, long, long nap.  Turn the A/C down to 68 degrees, get under the covers and s-l-e-e-p.  zzzzz…..

Paint my toenails.  Maybe a weird blue or purple.  I have ugly feet so this wouldn’t matter.

Call a maid service and have them do all the work for me. 

Doug and I had a really nice date night tonight. We decided to go to the Mall at Millenia area and grab dinner and stroll around the mall.

The first happy part of my night was rounding the corner of the mall over by Bloomingdales and seeing BLUE. I had a bit of a flip out…”I SEE BLUE!!!” and did a little happy dance for Doug. Ah, yes…IKEA is coming. We have blue. The entrance has been painted the IKEA yellow too. Surely the I-K-E-A letters are not far behind. I believe that when I see those, I may have to stop and jump out of the car and do the happy dance for everyone. Not long now, folks. If you’ve been to IKEA and love it like I do, you understand.

We ate dinner at a relatively new restaurant across from the mall. I’m not a big pizza person…and we don’t like to order it in front of Noah because of his gluten free/casein free diet. This pizza rocks, though. Tonight it was blackened chicken alfredo. Yum.

We went to the mall after dinner for a stroll. This is the kind of mall that strolling is all that we can afford to do. It’s fun, though. I like to walk through Neiman Marcus. It’s hilarious to look at the “couture” and guess the prices. Tonight’s big laugh? A wool suit jacket…FOR $2500. You want to wear a skirt with that? ANOTHER $1000. A matching shell to wear under that itchy wool jacket? Well, that’s just cheap at $300. So…with taxes, we’re pushing $4000. At my house, that ain’t no outfit, that’s a car. It’s such fun to look and laugh, but the best part of Neiman Marcus? Their bathrooms. Each stall is like a little room with a real door and a marble shelf to set your purse on. OOOhhhh….Toto, we’re not at Target anymore!

After our walk through la-la land, we grabbed some coffee at Panera and just talked and laughed. This is my favorite part of date night. I’m so thankful for a husband who totally “gets me” and makes me laugh my head off and laughs his head off at my goofiness too. It was also fun to catch up on our week…we talk all the time, but with kids and life’s distractions constantly coming up, it’s hard to have a sustained, meaningful conversation. It’s amazing too, that after 15 years of marriage, we’ll still learn things about each other that we never knew.

So…the perfect date night…the promise of IKEA opening soon and fun with my man. What more does a girl need?

The “get ready for the laminate flooring installation like NOW because September 4 is coming at me like a speeding freight train” madness has commenced.  I’m so thankful that Doug is off work today.  He’s been working on the studio upstairs and I’m just chipping away at the downstairs.  I’m taking the opportunity to purge stuff.  I’ve made three trips to local charity thrift stores already.  Here’s what else is going on:

• Someone took the “Maytag Stinks” washer this morning.  It’s been sitting out on the curb for two days and we have had a good bit of rain.  Props to the ambitious soul who thinks that he (or she) can fix it. 
• Isaac is turning three this weekend.  We’re still not even close to the potty-training stage.  Last night, he started to poo and I asked him “Isaac, do you want to sit on the big boy potty?”  He replied with a nervous laugh “No…that’s silly, Mommy.”  I absolutely cracked up.  I’m guessing that we’re still a ways off from being ready.
• We are getting ready to try an online educational software program with Noah.  It is called Teach Town and was developed for use with children who have autism.  When the software arrives, I will test him at home and set his “level”.  The company will provide online lessons that I can keep data on and the lessons will grow with him.  The really cool thing is that his teacher will have access to it at school and will be able to work on the same thing that we are doing at home.  It will fit really well with what they are already doing…a therapy called Verbal Behavior (VBA).  Teach Town is $40 a month, but in the scheme of things…very reasonable…considering that we would pay someone at least $50 an hour to provide Noah VBA privately.   Once again I’m amazed and thankful for God’s wonderful provision. 

That’s it for now…my bedroom closet is calling.  It’s gonna be scary.

So this is the Maytag washer that we purchased less than 5 years ago. That cost almost $500. The one with all the bells and whistles that should have lasted for at least 20 years.

You know those old commercials with the poor Maytag repair man sitting by the telephone, bored and waiting for business? Well…he’s been at my house five times. This unit has had a new transmission, new motor, new tub, new braking system, new hose and about 15 other “minor” repairs. Three weeks ago, it made a horrible sound while in the spin cycle and began to smell like burnt toast. Not. Good. I was NOT HAPPY.

Rather than give Maytag another dime of our money, I got out a permanent marker, wrote what I think of Maytag on the side of the washer and with the help of my dad, hauled it to our curb. There it sits.

My Dad took me to Lowe’s this morning and I bought a very basic Roper. No bells and whistles. It’s working just fine. What do you bet that this one lasts for 30 years?

I’m learning that saying “I’ll never….” is a really stupid thing for me to say.  Here are some things that I have said (or thought) I’ll NEVER…do….

“I’ll NEVER”:

Have a child that acts like a lunatic in public

Bottle feed my baby

Use infertility drugs

Send my child to public school

…because I’m such a good Christian, right? 

I mean, I know all the “rules” and what is expected of me as a good Christian wife and mother. 

How did I get to the place in my life where every one of those “nevers” became my reality?

God saw the pride and judgemental nature in me and decided to smash it.  He, in His tender mercies, gave me a child with autism.  He decided to address every one of the areas where I looked down on others and force me to be one of the ones who “failed”. 

 I “failed” at breastfeeding Noah.  After 4 months of pumping, lactation consultant visits and 5 bouts of mastitis, I had to admit defeat and bring on the Similac.  I was devastated.

I “failed” at homeschooling.  In my insane mind, I thought that I could learn a home program and “fix” Noah’s autism at home.  I quickly realized that I am in no way capable of this and need outside, expert help.  It was a terrifying decision to have to make.  I even looked at a private school for children with Down’s syndrome, but God said “no” and pointed His finger at the public school down the street.  

I “failed” at having children that behave properly in public.  I don’t know why this was such a big deal in my head, but I thought that I would do a “good job” at training my children and that they would act like the Ingalls girls every time we went to Publix.  When Noah started having meltdowns for no apparent reason, I was horrified.  I thought that I had surely missed a step in the parenting manual.   

I “failed” at trusting the Lord to break through our infertility and give us a second child.  After years of questioning women who used drugs or infertility treatments to get pregnant, I ended up on the reproductive endocrinologist’s table getting the glorified turkey baster treatment that led to Isaac.

I am now so grateful for each and every “failure” in my life.  I no longer see them as failures…just wonderful ways that the Lord has chosen to instruct me.  Now I can sympathize with the woman who has a hard time breastfeeding or can’t get pregnant and needs to use infertility drugs.  I can relate to and understand a mom’s decision to place her child in a public (or private) school.  I have true and honest empathy now when I see a weary mom struggling in the store with her screaming child. 

I’m getting blessed in unexpected ways from those failures.  Being able to nurse Isaac for 13 months was something that I did not take for granted.  And Isaac has been a HUGE blessing…I’m so glad we allowed the Lord to work in a way different than I would have chosen.  Noah has received an amazing amount of help and he is getting therapies funded publicly that would cost us tens of thousands of dollars to provide ourselves.   And I’m slowly learning to get over the fact that my kids misbehave.  And to not care about those judgemental stares that come my way sometimes. 

So…I’m in the process of purging my life of the “I’ll nevers”.   My latest is “I’ll never home-school Isaac….” (o.k….there’s nothing judgemental in my heart about that…I just don’t want to!)  Cause as soon as I say I won’t…that’s when God changes things.  So, ya’ll home-school mommies save some curriculum ideas for me.  I likely will be coming after you in two years for help.